Anxiety

About a week or 2 ago I had to message my ex for my accounts to a game back since I wanted to play with a friend. Well… He’s the ex that is root to all my problems (literally.. I can go on for days about all that he has done to me) so well… He was playing nice but never had the intention of giving them back. He played with me… Then he admitted he is a sociopath.. Then my heart broke.
8 years of my life was a lie.

I loved him..

But he never loved me.
Now I’m drowning in an ocean of pain and emotion.. And my daddy knows of all this.. He is trying to help me… I love him so much but I feel worse being obsessed with my ex like this.. My anxiety ia going insane and I can’t fix it.. He won.. I lost.. And now I cry.

Pregnancy Scare?

So i’ll be getting a test later when daddy wakes up.. I’m now 3 days late.. I know its not a really big deal, but my period has always started on the exact same day for years lol! I’m honestly really nervous and I keep watching first time mom type of videos.. I have quite the question for anyone reading.. 🙂

Do you find it harder to spend time with your caregiver after having a baby and does it affect the DDLG dynamic in your opinion?

Thank you for answering if you do.. I’m barely going to be 19 years old in a month so i’m just having anxiety.. 😶

My punishments😭

Non-spanking:

(My daddy adds a spanking to all my non-spanking punishments since those really work for me and he’s a strict daddy)

Mouth soaping: Mainly for backtalk and disrespect

Time out/Corner: Mainly used as a warning for me to calm down before I get it.

Writing lines: Mainly as a reminder not to do what I did.

Ex: “I will not throw a tantrum.” ×100

Early bedtimes: Mainly when I stay up past my bedtime.. Like right now..👀

No sweets: Mainly when I indulge in sweets before dinner time.

Grounding: Mainly when I misbehave in public..

How grounding works: Lets say I got grounded for a week/weekend/night/whatever, so then I would get spanked every night after my hour of “self reflect time” (time out). Also I would have to do chores all week and no laptop, phone can only be used for calling/texting family/friends.

(I have no issues with the grounding rules, some might think its a bit much, but its what works for us so please do what works for you 🙂 )

Spanking:

Belt: Normal everyday naughtiness

Hand: Warm-up

Paddle: More extreme offense or build up of naughtiness. 

Sexual:

Anal: Mainly when we do maintenance, it helps me feel submissive.

Blowjobs: I do not like giving them, so it is a very effective punishment lol.  

So yah that’s all my punishments.. I feel exposed.. Hahahahahha 

❤My Rules❤

Hey guys i’m a little and sometimes a pet so yah… These are my rules 🙂 

  • Take care of myself
  • Listen to daddy
  • Obey daddy
  • Don’t talk back to daddy
  • Do chores when told
  • Don’t put self in harms way
  • Take punishment like a good noodle.
  • Always call daddy sir/daddy/oppa/papi/master
  • Be in bed by 9:30pm and asleep by 10:00pm 
  • Never lie to daddy
  • Have dinner ready by 7pm
  • Wait on knees for daddy when he gets off work

What Daddy Bought Me!

Daddy got me this lovely little hat with cat ears!

 

And these cute cushions!

Living with daddy has felt amazing! I would love to chat with other littles so please leave a comment down below! Giggles, daddy tried to make cookies today and failed.. ;( buts its okay. If there is any topics you would love me to cover please ask away. 🙂 Have a great day cuties!

Reflection: Bruised and Scarred

Lately I’ve been thinking about my past long distance relationship of about 5 years, though this year makes it 7 years that I’ve known him.

Like every relationship it started off amazing. He was very charming and devoted to me entirely. At the time I thought it was OK to get rid of everyone in my life for him, what can I say? I was young, stupid, and in love. Every time I had any interaction with any other being, he’d get jealous and leave me for a couple days to sometimes a couple of months. I’d cry and cry everyday, never realizing all that I put my best friends through until now. They always gave me advice and helped me no matter what, but now that we’re older we don’t talk much anymore… Which is OK with me since I will forever love them. Its already sad that I could never get any friends in real life and depended on a game called “Wizard101” to be happy. Its been 2 years since I’ve touched the game actually… I have no friends… Just an amazing daddy who has taken care of me ever since my ex destroyed me entirely. Daddy and I have been best friends for a long time and his support is what got me through, he was all I really had in real life to get me by.


My ex has always put me through a lot of poop. From banning me on “wizard101” like 3 times, which is where all my friends were, my only friends, to posting my nudes on porn sites that he manipulated me into giving him in the first place. Oh not to mention him threatening me to leave my daddy or he’d send them to friends and family! He still had all those nudes ages ranging from 12-15. Since I’m 18+ now I can’t do anything about it and I was too scared of what my parents would think when I was younger to even try to do anything. He has done so much more to me that has messed me up psychologically, turned me into a masochist, and gave me severe anxiety.

Sometimes writing about it soothes me and keeps the anxiety down.. Sorry for the little rant.

❤ The Big Move ❤

About a week ago daddy and I went apartment hunting, it was a very tiresome day for us and I was being bratty. After hours of searching the first day we didn’t really find anything except ratchet,ugly, and scary apartments that made me wanna curl up in a ball and hide. I however enjoyed eating at chickfila and being out and about. Needless to say, we passed out when we got back home and tried again the following day. The 2 hour drive down to the new location we’d be residing in felt longer than normal. I of course took a nap while daddy drove all the way there on only less than 5 hours of sleep after watching Shane Dawson videos all night, and he complains about MY poor decision making. Tisk. Tisk. Maybe daddy should get time out and ouchies instead. Just kidding daddy.. (Not) Anyways, after checking out a couple of apartments that were not available, which included one that looked like a castle!!! I wanted that one so bad, but it wasn’t gonna be available till September and we needed one NOW, we finally found one in our budget that wasn’t crazy. Move in is Aug. 15 and I can’t wait!! Though I’m a little to lazy to pack… Have a wonderful, beautiful, amazing day my fellow princesses and kings. ❤❤❤